By Chivon John

“I’m fine, thanks!” …that was always my mantra. I thought if I said enough, and even faked a smile, maybe, just maybe, I would feel that way.

But that’s the thing about our words. They won’t have power unless you believe them. Denying my feelings only kept me stuck and chasing after all of the wrong things. I was caught in a vicious cycle of searching for perfection in all areas of my life. Admittedly, I used food to try to mold the perfect body to mask my pain. Even when I would achieve the milestones I desperately sought after, like sashaying in my size zero jeans, happiness still eluded me. I discovered my body was totally changed, but sadly my mind was not. The pressure of those feelings pulled me down like an anchor. So, I joined a boot camp to distract myself. I thought it would be a great way for me to seal the deal with my desires for the perfect body and present yet another perfect distraction. Happily I got more than I bargained for.

I realized that the mindset you carry in life directly affects how happy you are, as well as what happens to your body and ultimately your life. Even after I reached my holy grail of getting a six pack, I recognized that it wouldn’t cure my insecurities. It did deepen my awareness that health is more than the flawless model on your favorite magazine. True health includes the richness of your connections, feeling blessed for every moment, and being of service to others. Now, as a whole new person—inside and out, I am passionate about ending the mental beat downs that women give themselves. 

I spent many years trying to lose weight. I didn’t know at the time that the weight I should have been losing was my emotional baggage.

Chivon John is a wellness coach and motivating public speaker.  She teaches women to love themselves so they can enjoy life and unleash their true potential. Learn more about Chivon at

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