By Deanna Salles-Freeman
Today we run around wearing “busy” as a badge. We’ve been living in a world of uncertainty and division. We are linked together more than ever yet we are disconnected. It’s a world of stress and chaos. Are you living the life of YOUR dreams? If not, it’s time to clean house and get real! It’s time to start removing the blocks, the junk in your life that is holding you back from getting the life you want. The life you deserve. What I call–your Oola Life. A life of less stress and more purpose. A life of balance and growth.
To do this you must accept the challenge to take an honest look at yourself. It starts with you so that you can craft your life from a clean, fresh place. It’s time to remove the junk that blocks your path. How? Determine your blockers!
Seven main obstacles get in the way of living your dream life. Granted, this is not an all-inclusive list, they are the ones I’ve found to have the greatest impact on me and others I’ve coached. They are fear, guilt, anger, self-sabotage, laziness, envy and focus.
This is first on purpose because it is the biggest factor holding people back and often underlies all other blockers in some way. There are two ways in which fear gets in the way of you living your best life: 1) it prevents you from taking inspired action and moving forward based on false reality, and 2) a complete disregard of fear, which results in taking risks to your detriment. Are you stuck in analysis paralysis or are you running wild? Find that neutral ground.
The first thing to understand in this arena is that no matter what you’ve done, you deserve to have the life of your dreams. We all make mistakes and have all had reason to feel guilty. We do not need to carry it around indefinitely. Put that down, it’s heavy. Be mindful of where guilt shows up in your life and confront it.
It’s natural and even healthy at times but prolonged, it erodes your soul. Persistent or violent anger affects everyone around you and could come with some steep consequences. Harboring anger will destroy your chances at the life you want because it takes up emotional space better spent on pursuing your dreams and goals. Figure out the message in the mess and grow from it.
You are worthy. Period. This blocker is the most subconscious one of all. You’re skipping along in life just fine. You’ve put in some work. Things are looking up and then suddenly you begin to doubt. This is all too good to be true. When’s the other shoe going to drop? Ultimately, this one comes down to the story we tell ourselves. The negative soundtracks we play over and over in our heads. When such thoughts come up, STOP! Physically stop in your tracks and interrupt the thought. You deserve the life of your dreams!
If you truly desire your dream life, then laziness is not an option. The formula is simple, not always easy. It will take work. Look at anyone you admire; they did not get to where they are by accident. It took intent and work, but they were passionate about it, so they kept at it. The life of your dreams is worth the effort. You won’t regret it.
Someone will always have more or be more. Be the best you that you can be, that’s all that matters. Often envy and jealousy are interchanged but let’s make the distinction clear. Jealousy will show what you want with no ill intent toward the person that has it. Envy goes to a dark place where not only do you covet but you don’t want them to have it. Both can suck the joy out of life. The best way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. Opportunities are infinite. Be you and let your light shine!
Say what?! How is this a blocker? Focus is great when it is truly toward what requires attention. It becomes a blocker when there is a lack of focus or focus is misdirected. Lack of focus, distractions, and all the shiny things, is the most common. In a world of instant gratification, it is difficult to maintain focus on future, bigger goals. Misdirected focus is a focus on things outside the key areas of life. It is a hindrance to fundamentals like health, career, finances, family and friends. Addiction lives in this area. Get your focus aimed at your dream life and it’s yours.
Ready. Set. Go!
The life of your dreams awaits. You’ve gotten honest with yourself. You’ve identified those pesky blockers. Now what? You need a method to set them in their place and move through them. That method is called, Ready. Set. Go!
Acknowledge the blocker. Just set it right there in front of you and take a look. Oh hi, guilt. I see you. Sit with it and just recognize it for what it is, an obstacle. Admit it is an issue and be okay with that.
Now that you have confronted that blocker, you need to set it in its place. Ask yourself two questions:
1) What does my life look like if I continue to be consumed by this?
2) What does my life look like if I overcome and move past it? What are the possibilities?
Write out the answer to these two questions side by side. Is life honestly better in vision 1 or 2? If life is better in vision 2, then it’s go time.
If you are done with being stuck and you see a better life on the other side of your blocker, then the next step is 20 seconds of courage. Interrupt the thoughts and doubts, muster up that courage and take action. The whole process only takes 20 seconds. You got this!
There is no rewind button in life, but it’s never too late for a new beginning. Start today and finish strong! Your future self will thank you. You be you. Your dream life is just that, YOURS. Take inspired action. Write your own story. If I can do it, so can you!
Deanna is a certified life and health coach specializing in helping women find their laughter after trauma. Her speaking and workshops create life-changing impact. She also creates connection and community through her unique group coaching programs. Find her on InstaGram @deannawellness or visit her website deannawellness.com.